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This is the act of understanding yourself, often due to fear, low self esteem, perfectionism or unresolved inner conflict. CAN YOU RELATE? It is when someone deliberately or unconsciously hinders their own success, progress, or well-being through behaviours, thoughts, or actions that are counter productive.

I was sitting and admiring my daughter sleep when it hits me like a ton of bricks (loudly and painstakingly) how i have been in my own way of success for many years. I have always been afraid of change and tend to people please. Therefore making a decision without the influence and buy-in of someone else was a challenge. Taking that leap of faith and believing that God will order my steps have been formidable. I yearn for something new different but most times when the opportunity presents itself, fear, ‘i can’t and so many emotions come flooding down until either i lose interest or the opportunity passes.

Proverbs 21:25-26 tells us that the desire of a sluggard/lazy man kills him, for his hands refuse to labor. He covets greedily all day long But the righteous gives and does not spare. The scripture highlights the desire of a person not someone else, it was coming from within himself. Sometimes our desire for self can be so warped thus blocking God from doing what He promised. How do we Self Sabotage:

1. Procrastination – delaying important tasks even when there is a deadline. We keep putting things off for tomorrow.
2. Negative Self Talk – constantly telling ourselves that we are not good enough.
3. Perfectionism – setting unrealistic goals, then quitting when they are not met.
4. Avoidance – avoiding opportunities out of fear of failure or rejection.
5. Substance abuse or unhealthy habits – coping with stress in destructive ways.
6. Starting conflicts or pushing people away – when things are going good, you pull it apart before it collapses (all in the mind).

Mark 7:20-23 talks about the evil found within a man that ultimately defiles him. CAN YOU IDENTIFY?

Here are a few pointers of why we Self-Sabotage:

1. Fear – i still struggle sometimes with what if i fail or even succeed. Can i maintain maintain the success?
2. Low self worth – many people, even christians are affected by this. The scripture tells us that our identity is found in Jesus Christ (John 1:12; 2 Corinthians 5:17). We question, do i deserve it?
3. Imposter Syndrome – will people find out i’m not the best at what i am doing?
4. Not wanting to leave what is comfortable – we prefer to stay in dysfunction and experience pain than moving into something new and different.

How do we overcome:

1. Become Self-aware – pay attention to patterns and triggers.
2. Challenge your negative beliefs. Put them against truth (the Word of God) and ask the question (where did this belief come from? Was it from a bad or triumphant experience?
3. Set REAL goals – cheer for yourself at each stage.
4. Do not compare yourself – Be kind to YOU.

Proverbs 3:5-6 encourages us to seek the strength found in Christ. While Philippians 4:13 assures us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

More grace!!